Book Armin Heining: Silence, Ecstasy, Happiness

How I Learned to Meditate as a Monk and Discovered Spiritual Tantra

The Book

I'm a young man in provincial Old Bavaria, torn between my religious devotion and my journey of sexual discovery. When I receive my conscription notice, it seems like there's only one possible path for me.

• Is the monastery the right choice for me? Can celibacy truly keep my passion in check?
• During my theological studies, I find myself living next door to a popular brother, and my conscience faces an unexpected test. On a scorching summer day, a series of dramatic events unfolds, changing my life in ways I could never have foreseen.
• Who helps me through the dark moments of my inner turmoil?
• Who can truly understand me and guide me toward a path forward? Can the Catholic Church prevent my downfall?

Saint or squalor, order or orgasm, monastery or sexual ecstasy – my unsparing autobiography is a gripping account of my early life: The desperate struggle to live authentically between sexuality and spirituality, the hope of healing emotional pain, and the enlightening realization that even the most tortuous path follows a plan.

The Author

I was born in 1960, and I grew up in the town of Cham in Bavaria. After completing high school, I entered a Benedictine Monastery in Lower Bavaria and pursued my studies in Catholic theology in Würzburg. After years of deep inner conflict and undergoing therapeutic processes, I eventually left the abbey by mutual agreement.